Let’s get one thing clear, Hershey’s, Reese’s, Kit Kat and Almond Joy: You don’t belong in an Easter basket.
I assure you, I mean no offense. I enjoy a good peanut butter cup or milk chocolate bar, but to me, these are candies that belong in a trick-or-treating pail or a school vending machine, never in an Easter basket.
Now, when talking about Easter candy, I understand that what each individual considers to be proper can vary based on personal preference, family tradition and culture. I again wish to assure you that I in no way mean to insult your Easter candies of choice. However, the purpose of this column is to inform you of the (cough, cough) superior Easter candies. If you suspect that you may be unable to swallow the truth about Easter candy, please, I implore you, do not read on.
Good. You’re still here. Let’s get down to business. There are three main categories of Easter candy: chewy, chocolate and gooey. Each category has its own place in the Easter basket or egg, and its own pros and cons. For your convenience during this hectic season leading up to the April 12 holiday, I have compiled a list that is suitable — no, in fact, advisable, to use during your Easter shopping exploits.
Best candy: Jelly beans. With over a hundred flavors, there is sure to be a flavor for everyone.
Pros: Delicious! Many flavors, versatile, ideal for filling eggs, great for snacking.
Cons: Can cause major stainage in the sweaty palm of a toddler.
Tips: Jelly Belly is the only way to go! For the adventurous candy lover, try BeanBoozled (with spinner gift boxes offered on the Jelly Belly website).
Best candy: The good ol’ chocolate bunny.
Pros: A simple crowd-pleaser, especially with a bow tied around its neck.
Cons: Absolutely NOT suitable for your furry friends.
Tips: Go for the bunny in a box — not in foil — for maximum wow factor. Bunny can also double as a doll … until it melts.
Best candy: A tossup between Peeps and the Cadbury Egg. (Yes, I know the Cadbury is technically largely chocolate.)
Pros: Both have different shape/flavor options.
Cons: When put it the microwave, Peeps puff up and can create a very unpleasant mess in the hands of a 9-year-old and an uncle (I speak from experience).
Tips: Go for the cream-filled Cadbury Eggs. And when eating a Peep, bite the head off first. It’s more humane that way.
I certainly hope I have enlightened you, and that going forth in this Easter season you will keep in mind the superior form of Easter candy.