I did not invent the concept of musical terrorism. Credit for defining the act goes to comedian Christian Finnegan. To paraphrase, you won’t blow anything up, but you might ruin someone’s day. While I am not the originator of this malicious act, I am one of its biggest proponents.
Following Finnegan’s rules, one would walk up behind someone and start singing one of those songs that everyone knows part of and generally doesn’t care for. He has a list. I have a list. Let’s play.
“You got to know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away and know when to run.”
Now you will have “The Gambler stuck in your head until something replaces it. That’s the tough part. In attempting to get rid of one song, I often get a worse one stuck in my own head. It can be rough.
“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings: These are a few of my favorite things.”
I hate that song. While I’m at it, why is that song played during the Christmas season? Someone explain that to me.
If you really want to mess with someone — worse than songs from “The Sound of Music” — use children’s songs. The more annoying the better. Why not start with:
“Are you ready, kids? Ooooooooohhhhh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”
If you didn’t just say “Spongebob Squarepants,” congratulations. You are probably over 30 and don’t have kids and/or cable. Next.
“La di da di da, la di da di da, what’s the name of that song?”
That’s a tougher sell, but can work. It’s especially powerful because it’s a song about not knowing the name or all the words to a song. And it should help remind people of the time when “Sesame Street” was cool. Moving on:
“Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who? Who?”
It’s pure evil, I know. But remember, this is like that movie “The Ring.” The only way to save yourself is to get someone else. Last one:
“And I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that, I won’t do that.”
Try that on a loved one and see how good the rest of your day goes. Good luck and keep spreading the madness.