YAKIMA, Wash. — This week’s Dear Crabby question was one of my favorites yet, because it was about the prevalence of low-rise pants, which not only gave me an excuse to Google “low-rise pants,” but allowed me to pull out one of my favorite comedy moves: the here’s-my-impression-of-you gag.
In this case, it was combined with another favorite, the scandalized-old-person gag. It went like this: “My word! What has become of society? Boys with long hair, girls with short hair. And all of them listening to that rock ’n’ roll music. Next thing you know, they’ll allow rubber-soled shoes to be worn out of doors. I blame this on the pernicious influence of Charles Evans Hughes. America dodged a bullet when Woodrow Wilson beat him in ’16.’”
Love that joke. Use it every chance I get. And I will never apologize for that.
Anyway, that’s only one of the many lovely bits of news and entertainment you’ll get in this week’s On magazine. We’ve also got:
• A wire-service cover feature in which kids are asked to rate their favorite Pixar movies. (Spoiler alert: None of them voted for 1993’s “Another Stakeout” in which Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio Estevez reprise their roles from the 1987 hit “Stakeout.” It’s not a Pixar movie, but still, to get totally shut out like that — gotta hurt.)
• Simon Sizer’s latest Terrible Noise column, in which he gets all Sizery about that Savages album everyone’s talking about. Here’s a sample of the Sizer magic: “Divorced from the music, the tone and contents of these manifestos can feel very art-school-earnest, in a way that makes practiced ironists like myself uncomfortable, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
• An Indoorsman column, in which I get all sentimental over my parents’ 40th anniversary.
• A promotional pullout section previewing Thursday’s Fourth of July fun at State Fair Park and other locations throughout the Yakima Valley.
• A review by Inklings Bookshop manager Adam Jones of Kelly Oxford’s “Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar.”
• An On the Menu recommendation for La Carreta, where I ate soup on a 105-degree afternoon because Mexican seafood soup is worth sweating for.
• 10 Days Out briefs on rock band Witchburn, folk band Ghosts I’ve Met, the Smokeout Chokeout party at The Speakeasy Bar, “Bye Bye Birdie” at the Warehouse Theatre and more.
And, of course, as always, we’ve got all the event listings you need to plan for the weekend and beyond. Make sure you pick one up in Thursday’s Yakima Herald-Republic.